Why is anxiety a thing: the book
chapter one
“Why can’t I do simple things without feeling like I’m gonna puke”
chapter two
“This seriously isn’t that hard why am I crying”
chapter three
“I’m not lazy I’m just scared of failing”Chapter four
“I’m anxious cause I keep messing up and I keep messing up cause I’m anxious”
Chapter five
“Talking to strangers on the phone more like sweating blood”
(Source: manafromheaven)
If you haven’t noticed eventually, I’m back! It’s winter break right now I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to keep my tumblr updated when I go back to school, but let’s just cross that bridge when we get there, shall we?
Anyways, I’m missing school on the 3rd and 4th of January to attend the 2013 Junior Science and Humanities Symposium (JSHS) at Georgetown University and I’m really super nervous. I’m not presenting a science fair project or anything (my project way too simple for that), but I’m gonna be basically playing with the technology/lab equipment and attend a seminar with a bunch of other nominated kids in the area.
I really want to go. It’s an amazing opportunity for me to explore science/medical careers and my parents normally wouldn’t go out of their way to let me go to these kinds of things, so I have to grab this chance. But the kids that going are all probably super smart and I’m already feeling inferior to everyone QQ.
It’s amazing how much more open I am in a room full of complete strangers than with people I’ve known for years.
School sucks.
Junior year sucks.
Not being on tumblr sucks.
Being forced to use the tumblr app because I have a gazillion tabs open that are related to school sucks.
Why do magazines from Japan/Korea have to cost 30 bucks to ship it over here.
Why.
WHY.
W H Y.
Wow I haven’t gotten a mosquito bite all summer and I suddenly get exactly EIGHT within the past THREE hours.
And I’ve been inside my freaking room the entire day too, mind you.
I’m always shocked when people that I’m semi-friends with/kinda-sorta-know-but-I-wouldn’t-consider-us-close tell me personal things and their problems and ask me for advice. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a burden for me but I just wonder why they would talk to me at all for something like that, since I don’t really say much in terms of advice. I actually don’t say much at all except a few words of encouragement. Honestly, I sometimes think that the little advice I do give might make things worse for them when I give it some more thought later on, which in turn makes me anxious (the bad kind) whenever I see them.
And whenever they’ve finished talking I feel obliged to say something personal about myself as well, but I’ve always had a hard time being open about things (or maybe it’s because I’m not good with words when I speak, I don’t know) so I don’t and I feel even worse.
